


Stars

by refusetoshine



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-02 15:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21164060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/refusetoshine/pseuds/refusetoshine
Summary: Jean-Luc hasn't spoken to Beverly in two years. After the loss of the Stargazer, he comes to her with the hopes of renewing their friendship, and perhaps starting something new.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was partially inspired by the song "Stars" by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.

Beverly sat out on the balcony of her small San Francisco apartment. She had a wonderful view of the city’s skyline, but she was staring at the stars above her, her thoughts drifting to somewhere thousands of light years away. As she sipped her synthesized wine, she was reminded of how much she missed the real thing. How much she missed _him_. A few tears began to fall. She quickly wiped them away and cursed herself inwardly for her weakness.

_I don’t need him_, she told herself, _Wesley and I are fine on our own_.

Beverly’s thoughts drifted then to her sweet seven-year-old son, sleeping inside. He was a smart boy, advanced for his age. He could do anything he put his mind to, and his dreams seemed to be to travel the stars. She couldn’t fault the boy, for at one point, that had been her dream too, until she realized the heavy price one had to pay to live that life.

She looked up once again at the twinkling lights in the sky and felt a surge of anger run through her. The wine glass in her hand became the victim as she slammed it down on the small table beside her and it shattered, sending pieces of glass everywhere. After making sure that she had not been cut, she went inside to grab a broom.

_Damnit! _ she cursed as she swept up the small crystalline shards of glass. The moonlight made them shimmer, and Beverly’s mind was again brought to the sky above. She looked up, not being able to stop the tears any longer.

_Why did you leave Jean-Luc?_

Jean-Luc had told her all about his childhood dreams of becoming a Starfleet Captain. It was the only thing he’d ever wanted and at 28, he’d done it. He’d become the youngest Starfleet Captain in history.

Of course, he’d been quite a bit older when she’d known him. Still, she recognized the heart of an explorer. It was something they had shared. Jack had had it too. She often dreamed of the brief time the three of them had spent together in space, and how wonderful it had been to explore new worlds with friends.

Everything had changed when Jack died. Beverly had been interning on Delos IV when he’d come to tell her. She ‘d broken down in his arms and he’d held her for what seemed like hours as the sobs wracked her body and soul. She’d known he was grieving too, but he took his duty as a Starfleet Captain more seriously than his own personal feelings. She remembered how he’d explained to Wesley about what happened and how he had embraced the young boy. Despite his reluctance towards children, Beverly had always thought he would make a good father someday and his actions with Wesley had proved that.

She knew he’d never do it though. Jean-Luc’s heart had always belonged to the stars. No time for a wife and children, and certainly no time for her and Wesley. She hadn’t heard from the man whom she’d once considered her best friend since he’d brought Jack’s body home to her two years ago. She knew that life as a Starfleet Captain was busy, but surely, he could spare a few minutes to talk to his supposed best friend. She used to send him messages about her life, how she was coping as a young widow, how Wesley was doing. They went unanswered and after awhile, she stopped sending them. The pain of her Jean-Luc pushing her away was too much to bear, especially since she didn’t understand why.

The glass was finally cleaned up. Beverly deposited the pieces into the recycler and with one last look out at the night sky, she headed off to bed.

—-

The _Stargazer_ was gone. Thankfully, there had been minimal casualties and most people had been able to get to the escape pods. The captain, Jean-Luc Picard was one of the lucky ones. He was thankful he had survived but was not looking forward to what lay ahead.

When a starship is lost, Starfleet will always hold a court martial for the captain if they survive. The accident with the _Stargazer_ would be no exception. It would require him to return to Earth, to San Francisco, to where _she_ was.

“Beverly,” he whispered.

When the escape pod had landed and he had been waiting for Starfleet to rescue them, Jean-Luc’s thoughts had been about her. He wondered what her reaction would’ve been if he hadn’t made it.

_Probably couldn’t have cared less-_, he thought bitterly.

It had been his fault. He fully admitted it. He had been the one to break off contact two years ago. She had messaged him dozens of times and he had never responded. He had tried to tell himself it was for the best, but inside his heart had been breaking.

From the moment he’d met Beverly, he’d known she was something special. He’d felt a connection to her and a yearning inside he’d never known existed. When he’d found out she was with Jack, he tried to push his feelings aside for it was hardly appropriate for him to be pining after his best friend’s girlfriend.

The couple began spending more time with him. The closer Beverly got to him, the harder it was for him to ignore the growing attraction inside of him. At their wedding, Jean-Luc stood beside Jack as he kissed his new bride wishing that it was him that she was kissing instead. When he held their son Wesley for the first time, his heart ached as he wished that the boy was his. When Jack decided to stay on the ship, he felt confusion as to why he’d rather travel the stars than be with his family. These feelings Beverly evoked in Jean-Luc of settling down clashed with his lifelong desire of exploring. It frightened him that one person could change his whole perspective and motivation in life.

It wasn’t just the fear that had stopped him from talking to Beverly. His guilt over Jack’s death had been a big factor in it as well. Jean-Luc had been the one to make the order. He had robbed Beverly of her husband and caused the death of his best friend. Holding her as she cried uncontrollably had broken his heart and cemented the fact that he didn’t deserve her in his life.

”I’ve been such a coward” he sighed

Jean-Luc’s thoughts were interrupted by the approach of footsteps and the sounds of communicators. He heard the escape pod open and saw the familiar blue uniforms of Starfleet medics. As they checked him with their tricorders, his thoughts were brought back to Beverly.

“Captain?” inquired a young Ensign, “Is there anyone you’d like us to send a message to? A family member or friend who can expect your arrival on Earth?”

Jean-Luc took a deep breath.

_No more cowardice. _ he resolved, _Stop running away from your fears_

“Yes Ensign,” he replied, “Doctor Beverly Crusher at Starfleet Medical.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Eat your eggs Wesley.”

Wesley scrunched up his face and made a gagging noise but desisted after seeing the death glare his mother was giving him. 

“Fine, I’ll eat some eggs.”

He reluctantly shoveled some of the scrambled egg into his mouth, making faces while he chewed.

_At least he’s eating them, _ thought Beverly. Wesley was a notoriously picky eater. Beverly tried to make sure he had a healthy balanced diet, but some days it was hard.

Realistically, every day was hard for Beverly. Trying to balance life as a single mother with a burgeoning medical career was stressful to say the least. On the outside, she managed to hold it all together, but inside, she felt like she was barely holding on. More and more frequently, she would sink into her bed after another long day and cry herself to sleep. Counselling had been offered to her, but Beverly had declined every time. 

_Maybe I should talk to someone_.

She sighed. The only person she wanted to talk to was a million miles away, going where no one had gone before. She cursed herself for thinking about him again. From his lack of communication, Beverly surmised that he obviously didn’t think about her. It was time to put him out of her mind.

Wesley had decided he was done after eating half his egg. Beverly declared it a victory and sent the boy off to get dressed. As she cleared the table, she got a notification of a video communication coming through from Starfleet headquarters. She raced to the viewer and flipped it open. Anything coming from Starfleet headquarters was important.

On the screen appeared Admiral Gregory Quinn. He had a grim look on his face, and Beverly could feel a knot forming in her stomach. Something was very wrong. 

Her thoughts went to Walker Keel, a good friend and captain of the _Horatio_. She knew they had been on a classified mission for the past two years, which is why Walker hadn’t been able to attend Jack’s funeral. He had sent his condolences and had offered to spend time with her once his mission was complete. She had been looking forward to it. Her thoughts were broken by the voice of the Admiral.

“Doctor Crusher?” he asked.

“Yes, this is her. What can I do for you Admiral?” she asked, even though she didn’t necessarily want to hear the answer.

“It’s Jean-Luc.”

It felt as if everything went to a standstill. Even though she hadn’t seen Jean-Luc in two years, the thought of losing him permanently was unbearable. She’d always hoped that one day he’d change his mind and come see her again. She’d always enjoyed his company, with or without Jack there, and if she was honest, she’d always had more in common with Jean-Luc than she had with Jack. Tears began to well in her eyes. She couldn’t lose him too. Not like this.

“He’s alive, Doctor,” the Admiral continued, noticing her distraught expression “But his ship has been lost.”

Relief washed over her. Jean-Luc was alive. She wouldn’t have to attend another funeral. She wouldn’t have to explain to Wesley that his Uncle Jean-Luc was never coming back. Still, her heart ached for the loss of the _Stargazer_. Some of her favourite memories took place on that ship and she’d always treasured her time there. 

“Jean-Luc asked us to contact you as he will be returning to Earth for his hearing.”

Beverly was pleasantly surprised that he’d asked them to contact her, and even happier that he’d be coming to Earth. She however did not expect the reason.

“Hearing?”

“When a ship is lost, there is an automatic court martial made against the captain.”

Beverly understood now. It made sense as to why, for a captain should try and do what he can to save the ship. Jean-Luc was one of the best captains she’d ever met and felt confident that he had done his duty to the best of his ability. 

“He should be arriving at headquarters around 1400 hours if you wish to be there.”

As mad as she was about his lack of communication over the last two years, Beverly knew she needed to be there for him. The _Stargazer_ had been his ship for over twenty years. Losing it and facing an inquiry about the loss would be upsetting to say the least.

“I’ll be there Admiral. Thank you.”

The communication ended. Beverly was starting to regroup her thoughts when Wesley walked into the room, wearing a red polka dot sweater with purple striped pants and mismatched socks.

“I’m ready to go Mom,” he beamed.

“Are you sure that’s what you want to wear today?” she asked, amused by her son’s fashion sense, or lack thereof.

“Absolutely positively sure.”

Beverly shook her head but didn’t question it. Wesley may have been a Crusher in name, but she’d learned long ago that he possessed the same Howard determination she did. She only knew of one person who could match that level of stubbornness, and she was going to see him this afternoon.


End file.
